Last night I needed truth. I needed God’s words. It wasn’t a struggle to open the Bible, I needed to. It didn’t even feel like a choice because of how desperately my heart needed to hear His words. As I did it at 1:30AM I was hit with remembrance, remembrance of all the times in my life where I have desperately needed truth. Where I have clung to it with everything. I remembered the times where I listened to John 17 on repeat as I laid sick in bed. I remembered after being heartbroken, how I laid on the kitchen floor, crying...needing truth. I remembered spending 6 months in Cambodia in what felt like the fiery furnace of affliction... Even when I didn’t have the energy to open my Bible I clung to truth. Those were the times where I came to God’s word like a parched soul thirsting for life giving water. That is what I am created for...what we are created for. Those beautiful moments are birthed in times of affliction. No matter how much time we spend in prayer and Bible study, no one can reproduce the supernatural moment when God meets you in your time of affliction and need. The richest times with Jesus don’t usually come from when we are doing alright, but when we are struggling, and when we need grace to carry on.
I’ve been in a sweet season lately. I have my dream job, i'm a barista at an awesome coffee shop with rad co-workers. I am surrounded with a loving and tight knit church family and community around me. God has blessed me with an amazing place to live. I have work with a ministry called Campus Life where I am able to go into two schools every week and get to know and minister to amazing middle school and high school kids. It’s been a sweet, life giving and amazing season. Especially after coming out of a season of deep trial, God has been healing my heart and building me back up again. But in the times like this, as sweet as they are, i haven’t been waking up in the morning and the first thought is that I NEED truth or I can’t carry on without it. I don’t even know why I am writing all of this, but all I want to say is, it’s a good thing to need truth. If you are in a season where you need His words over you so badly, be thankful. It’s a beautiful place to be needy and hungry for Him to come and fill the depths of your heart. Run to Him in the need. He will meet you with truth and grace to wash the pain of affliction.
Psa 119:92 If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.