tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51065272093488174962024-03-13T03:34:58.429-07:00A Story Of TriumphUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-89238870868991528942017-10-24T06:40:00.001-07:002017-10-24T06:40:25.329-07:00Need<span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Needing truth is always a good place to be. </span><br />
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Last night I needed truth. I needed God’s words. It wasn’t a struggle to open the Bible, I needed to. It didn’t even feel like a choice because of how desperately my heart needed to hear His words. As I did it at 1:30AM I was hit with remembrance, remembrance of all the times in my life where I have desperately needed truth. Where I have clung to it with everything. I remembered the times where I listened to John 17 on repeat as I laid sick in bed. I remembered after being heartbroken, how I laid on the kitchen floor, crying...needing truth. I remembered spending 6 months in Cambodia in what felt like the fiery furnace of affliction... Even when I didn’t have the energy to open my Bible I clung to truth. Those were the times where I came to God’s word like a parched soul thirsting for life giving water. That is what I am created for...what we are created for. Those beautiful moments are birthed in times of affliction. No matter how much time we spend in prayer and Bible study, no one can reproduce the supernatural moment when God meets you in your time of affliction and need. The richest times with Jesus don’t usually come from when we are doing alright, but when we are struggling, and when we need grace to carry on. </div>
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I’ve been in a sweet season lately. I have my dream job, i'm a barista at an awesome coffee shop with rad co-workers. I am surrounded with a loving and tight knit church family and community around me. God has blessed me with an amazing place to live. I have work with a ministry called Campus Life where I am able to go into two schools every week and get to know and minister to amazing middle school and high school kids. It’s been a sweet, life giving and amazing season. Especially after coming out of a season of deep trial, God has been healing my heart and building me back up again. But in the times like this, as sweet as they are, i haven’t been waking up in the morning and the first thought is that I NEED truth or I can’t carry on without it. I don’t even know why I am writing all of this, but all I want to say is, <b>it’s a good thing to need truth. </b>If you are in a season where you need His words over you so badly, be thankful. It’s a beautiful place to be needy and hungry for Him to come and fill the depths of your heart. Run to Him in the need. He will meet you with truth and grace to wash the pain of affliction.</div>
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<span style="color: #454545;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" id="m_577331706228891330019.119.92" style="color: #222222;"><span class="m_5773317062288913300verse" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration-line: underline;">Psa 119:92</span> </a> <span class="m_5773317062288913300highlight_19_119_92">If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my <span class="m_5773317062288913300search">affliction</span>.</span></span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-74996357106038423922017-07-10T19:15:00.001-07:002017-07-10T19:15:06.674-07:00Enough<span style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">I've been wanting to write lately but every time words seem to be in short supply. I've been wanting to testify of what God has been teaching me, but I have had a difficult time tracing each lesson and finding the beauty in the ashes. </span><br />
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While words are in short supply, His grace isn't. While strength is failing, His grace is sufficient, while vision is unclear, His love is always painted clearly in the sacrifice of Jesus.<br /><div>
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<span style="color: #454545;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> //<span class="highlight_2_15_13">You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode.//</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="highlight_2_15_13">Exodus 15:13</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545;">This verse beautifully paints what my God has been doing for me in this season. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545;">He is leading me. His steadfast love is a banner over me. I am redeemed, not by feeling or because of any effort I put forth, but by His marvelous grace. He is guiding me, in paths I never would have guessed. As He takes me on these less traveled paths, He holds my weak hand and strengthens my heart. I continually tell Him how weak and weary I am, He listens and pours out His strength on me. He is bringing me into greater glory, into His holy abode. It's not the road that I would have paved, but it is in His perfect plan to bring Him perfect glory. He never stops, He never changes, He is perfectly consistent in His character. My God is the same yesterday, today and forever. And while there are so many unknowns, I rest in the known grace that He has freely given. And that is enough.</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-36217623960279361992017-03-23T00:29:00.001-07:002017-03-23T00:29:47.859-07:00Luke 10.27<br />
Luk 10:27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”<br />
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What truly does God want from us? What does He desire from His people? If you're reading this, I would encourage you to truly allow Him to search your heart and and see what you really believe about this. I know personally, I probably would have said that He wants us to love Him with all of our heart and love and serve others. I would have said that, but God has been revealing to me that I I would end that sentence with "and.....". For a long time now (too long) I have had an unrest in my soul. I've hen carrying around in the depth of my heart an angst that I have yet to attain what following God is really about. I don't know where the root of it came from. I don't know what lie I choose to believe and allowed this to root in my soul. But I know that I have hidden it in a desire to love and serve God. That is the desire of my heart. But God has been showing me that I have misunderstood what it means to love God and serve others.<br />
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Sitting on the floor with your bible seeking the One True God is loving Him.<br />
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Serving the local church, teaching the Word, living life alongside God's people, enjoying God and worshiping Him every day in whatever circumstance you find yourself...this is loving Jesus. Living sacrificially for others, for the glory of God, this is loving Jesus. Lifting up the name of Jesus in every opportunity you get, this is loving Jesus. Looking unto Him daily for your salvation, this is loving Jesus.<br />
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It sounds so simple, nearly boring and mundane. We think it is suppose to be fancy and special but the gospel is so simple. What does God want from us? It's actually simpler that we think. Love. He wants our love. For Him, and for others.<br />
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We go throughout this world, with Christ in us, the hope of glory. This life will go by so fast. We don't want to get to heaven and realize that we were living for the "bigger and better" when Jesus points to a much smaller and humbler story.<br />
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I heard these remaining words from a sermon and they spoke to my hungry heart.<br />
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"God moves through those who realize that they aren't qualified. God put the Spirit of God and a message in a few broken guys and through them, He changed the world.<br />
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When we get to heaven I hope this is my testimony.<br />
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That I read the Bible more than the news...<br />
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That I built the local church rather than a following...<br />
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That I trusted God more than i tried to control my life...<br />
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That I spent more time on closet foors with my Bible than on social media...<br />
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That I choose the small rather than craved big...<br />
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That I choose Jesus."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-9348605449563805852017-03-10T17:35:00.003-08:002017-03-10T17:35:21.354-08:002 Cor 13.42Co 13:4 For he was crucified in weakness, but lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but in dealing with you we will live with him by the power of God.<br />
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"All you need is need" -Tim Keller<br />
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Weakness. Need. Affliction. What person wants those words to describe them? Nobody wants their lives to be defined by those things. The Bible is so paradox because in it we see that God uses weaknesses, need and affliction as an opportunity to shine His glory in our lives. I think one of the problems is that we have a warped view of weakness in the kingdom of God. We forget that God is drawn to weakness. We forget that in weakness, we are drawn to God. The Body of Christ is trying to be strong in our own strength when God tells us that it is through our weakness that we are strong. Most of us would YES and amen this, but do we truly believe it? Do we believe it when we are weak, afflicted and don't see how God is using the situation for His glory? I know personally, if I can't SEE what He is doing, I quickly lose heart and wallow in self pity. I was just recently faced with this again as we were out of town for three days and I was sick and was stuck in bed. As I laid there, I was asking God "God I truly just want to know how You are using this to glorify You?". I couldn't understand or see how He was using it to glorying Him and that made me lose heart. What I didn't understand is how He was using it to shine through my weaknesses. To draw me close to Him and mold and shape me to look like Jesus. Jesus suffered and Jesus died in what the Bible called weakness. If that sentence doesn't settle well with you (it didn't with me at first) then maybe you don't know how beautiful God sees weakness when it is given to Him. What happens to our weaknesses? They are resurrected by the power of God into new life. Jesus died in weakness and rose and lives in the power of God. We are weak. I am weak. BUT in that weakness we LIVE by the power of God.<br />
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I was listening to a podcast by Joni Eareckson Tada and these words of hers seemed to sink right into my heart.<br />
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"Christians who suffer are a spectacle of glory like burning bushes not consumed. We are bushes unconsumed. He wants us, to whom He displays His glory.<br />
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The best benefit of affliction in our lives is the urgency that we need Jesus. It is the waking up in the morning "JESUS I NEED YOU" life. Blessed are the poor in spirit. This is the biblical way to live."<br />
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In the unknown, we draw to the One who is know. When our vision is obstructed, we allow Him to clear the way. When we have no strength, we wait on Him, and He will carry us on eagles wings. We don't look to what is seen, but to what is unseen. And we know, that whatever we see or don't see, He is using it to produce a weight of glory beyond all comparison.<br />
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Psa 119:71 It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-41496138882623334382017-02-21T18:30:00.000-08:002017-02-21T18:30:10.121-08:00Ecc 3.1Ecc 3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:<br />
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Some mornings It's hard not to look at my remaining field time (one month + one week) and wish it away or rush it away. Not because it's bad or I want to leave Cambodia, but because my mind is constantly looking to the next thing. It is constantly looking ahead and wanting to rush seasons for the next. Closing out seasons of your life can be intimidating and hard and sometimes mentally and emotionally it's just easier to skip ahead and imagine you're already gone. It's hard not to want it to be over. I truly love living in Cambodia, I truly love my team and I truly love the ministry we get to go. But on the days when you wake up and your heart seems to be on a different continent, it can be hard to live in the present. It can be hard not to see every affliction and obstacle instead of every blessing.<br />
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But oh how He is showing me that when He is my treasure, when Jesus is my Worth, when He is my greatest reward, He is what I see in every affliction and obstacle. If drawing near to Him is really my desire, then I have been given the desires of my heart.<br />
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I have been sick a lot since coming here and this past week and a half I have been feeling great. Yesterday I woke up congested and with headaches and started pumping the vitamins and water. Kayla reminded me of a great truth last night, she heard me sniffle, saw me take vitamins and looked at me and said "there is a season for everything. And sometimes there are sick seasons." This perspective was such an encouragement to me. Life is truly learning to embrace every season for what God truly has in it. It is learning to embrace Jesus in every moment of every season.<br />
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Only by the indwelling Holy Spirit can we walk in and out of seasons, affliction and blessing and remain joyful and Jesus centered. It's all His grace. I want to close out my season being here, now. Fully engaging with the people in front of me instead of dreaming and wondering what I will do after I get home. Instead of being consumed with the small details of the unknown, I want to be consumed with the known details of God. To be consumed with His goodness and His glory.<br />
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Jesus, keep my heart present. Jesus, give me eyes to see you in the trial and affliction. Give me eyes to see Your love when I want to flee. Steady my heart and direct my gaze back to You. Purify my hearts desires. Make them be You Jesus. Instead of looking to the difficulties and afflictions, may my mind be ever meditating on Your goodness.<br />
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Not only is there a time and season for everything. But He calls it beautiful.<br />
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Ecc 3:11a He has made everything beautiful in its time.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-1643554332751326302017-02-21T01:26:00.002-08:002017-02-21T01:36:14.798-08:00Pro 19.23<br />
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Pro 19:23 The fear of the LORD leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.<br />
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I'm letting go of my idol of satisfaction.<br />
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The idol that tells me that I will be 100% satisfied on this earth. The idol that screams that I will find this satisfaction in the perfect ministry, body, relationship, children and life. I'm giving it up because I will never find this! This yearning in my heart is a yearning for heaven. It is a yearning to be perfectly glorified and to be in God's perfect and holy presence.<br />
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I will be satisfied in Jesus continually everyday until I am perfectly satisfied with Him in perfect eternity. That is the only place where I will live in perfect communion and satisfaction. Until then I can fully worship Him by enjoying the blessings that He gives me, but I am sick of the race and war that I put myself in trying to find the perfect formula for satisfaction. There is no worship experience or encounter with God that will satisfy me completely until I see Him in eternity. In the Psalms David prays "Satisfy me in the morning with your likeness.". Jesus satisfies. He does. I believe that the satisfaction and joy He brings is supernatural. But I'm learning that it is continual. I will never get a dose of Him and be satisfied for life. My flesh is strong and looks for comfort and satisfaction apart from in Christ. But the Spirit is so willing and gracious to continually pull us back to the truth of Christ and His victorious life that He imparts upon His people. My heart is so needy, but every need is filled in the rivers of His grace. If I got satisfied from every craving and desire the moment I become born again, I would not have a strong drive to to receive from Him all that He has to pour out. He knows my nature and created me uniquely and intricately so He could continually satisfy me. That is grace.<br />
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We were created as very dependent and needy people. And our Creator knew exactly what would satisfy the depths of our need. Every need is satisfied in His likeness. I love that this verse uses the words "rests satisfied" and that is exactly what a life of a daughter of God looks like. It looks like the end to striving and the end to trying so dang hard. It looks like being rested in who He is and knowing, truly knowing that our life isn't for our glory but for His. That truth brings so much freedom.<br />
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I am set free and I am satisfied in Him. And tomorrow, when I awake with desires and need, He will satisfy. And the next day. And the next day... Into eternity.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-73151695702886702992017-02-21T00:49:00.002-08:002017-02-21T00:49:34.662-08:00Exo 33.17<br />
Exo 33:17 And the LORD said to Moses, “This very thing that you have spoken I will do, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.”<br />
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Jesus I want to hear you say my name<br />
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This was a prayer that I prayed on a sleepless night. Some might call it selfish and self focused, but for me, and it was a prayer for intimacy. It was a heart cry to know Jesus. To walk with Him, to touch Him, to be so close physically, emotionally and spiritually. It was a yearning to know Him as my friend and to have the intimacy and oneness that He prayed we would have in John 17.<br />
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Not even 5 min after I prayed this I started listening to a teaching from Francis Chan and right away he read Exodus 33:17.<br />
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Exo 33:17 And the LORD said to Moses, “This very thing that you have spoken I will do, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.”<br />
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I know you by name. While I didn't hear an audible voice or see the heavens part and Jesus descend, I knew that this was the answer to my prayer. I knew that He has seen me and heard my desire and answered. I Knew at that moment, that I was in the presence of Jesus and that I am His beloved daughter.<br />
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Lately my heart has been crying out to know Jesus. We talk about this, we read books about this, we sing about this, we preach sermons about this, but do we truly experience it? Can we truly say that we know Jesus as our friend? I recently watched the movie Risen (yes I know I am late to the party) and it refreshed my heart and ignited my heart to truly know Jesus. It is so easy to read about Him in the scriptures but have it be far off in my mind. But as I watched the movie and watched how they portrayed Jesus, I was overwhelmed and moved to know Him as my friend. He invites us into this covenant friendship.<br />
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It truly is all about knowing, enjoying and worshiping Christ. I can fall in love with doing good things, resisting temptation, taking care of the poor, memorizing scripture...and miss everything. It is about falling in love with Jesus. I want to be consumed with love for Him. Not for what He can do for me or for what I can do with Him, but simply consumed with Him. This isn't something you can explain and measure, but it certainly is something you can see in a person. The thought terrifies me that I could get to the end of my life and serve everyday in ministry and realize I never knew or loved HIM. May this not be so, and His love beckons me into a life of friendship with Him. As my flesh starts to chase a performance relationship, He reminds me that my relationship with Him is sealed and He desires a relationship.<br />
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He is the prize. He is my exceedingly great reward. And to know Him, it is beyond comprehension and explanation. It is beauty, it is life.<br />
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Psa 34:5 Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamedUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-56560895228538959772017-01-30T19:48:00.002-08:002017-01-30T19:48:38.072-08:00Psalm 32:1-2Freed from guilt + Freed from shame<br />
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Psa 32:1 Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.<br />
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Psa 32:2 Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.<br />
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How many of God's sons and daughters live in guilt and shame? (✋) Our sin separated us from God and we are innately guilty. That is our state of life before we have been cleansed by the blood of Christ. But after we have been washed, sanctified and redeemed by His blood, we have no guilt and no shame. We have been set free from the shackles and accusations.<br />
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Why would we break camp in the grounds of guilt and shame when we could be souring on eagles wings? When I am walking in guilt and shame I feel like a lifeless body making my way through life. Of the many things that break God's heart, I think seeing His forgiven children walking in guilt must be up there for Him. It surely stems from unbelief and takes my eyes off of the the final work of Jesus and places them on my depravity. Some days I am running in His victory but some days I wake up and feel like I am drowning in guilt and shame. The enemy of our souls wants to steal, kill and destroy and souls and our daily life on this earth. So often he does this with his accusations and threats of guilt. As soon as I feel guilt and shame as a banner over me instead of "FREEDOM" "VICTORY" "HIS LOVE" my response should be to acknowledge my sin before Him. Confess before Him and rest in His forgiveness. When I keep silent, I am sitting in shackles that have already been opened. When I wallow in guilt I walk back into that prison cell that I have already been freed from. I go pull my old death sentence from the archives that says "PAID IN FULL" and ignore the big bold words stamped on it hang it on my wall and declare its accusations as true.<br />
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But oh, it is PAID IN FULL. It has no power over me because my Jesus conquered sin and death and is now victoriously reigning in heaven. He is my freedom. He is my guiding place. He surely preserves me from trouble and surrounds me with shouts of deliverance {victory}. Today I'm looking at the truth that it is paid in full and instead of looking at the accusations, I will look at the One who set me free from them all.<br />
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Selah.<br />
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Psa 32:7 You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. SelahUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-34124145038006139002017-01-29T18:27:00.001-08:002017-01-29T18:27:39.388-08:001 Cor. 6.191Co 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,<br />
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I just read in Exodus about all the details of building the tabernacle, Ark of the Covenant and the priestly garments and have been blown away at God's detail in it all. God wrote chapters describing what would be in our eyes, the very small details of the building and making of these things. But this shows that to Him, these details are not small at all. If Creator God, Holy and All Powerful included them in Scripture, they hold much significance to Him and to His story of redemption. It's easy to get caught up in the big picture and miss the details that show God's fingerprints all throughout Scripture. But it's also easy to get stuck in the details and lose sight of Jesus. But if we look for Him, we will always find Him. If we allow Him to open our eyes, He will show us wonderful things in His Word.<br />
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Psa 119:18 Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.<br />
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One of the prayers that I pray continually for me and the people that are in my life is that God will give me eyes to see and ears to hear. In Revelation we read repetitively "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.". The Spirit is speaking to His church. Jesus is always calling us into deeper intimacy with Him. God is always beckoning us into greater dependence on Him and His Word. His Word is alive and sharper than any two edged sword. The details throughout the Bible weave together the most beautiful and epic story ever written. The Bible is not made up of random letters and books, but God has intricately woven them all together to testify of the grace and redemption that is in Jesus Christ.<br />
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When I finished reading in Exodus about the descriptions of the tabernacle, ark and priestly garments, I was sitting in His presence and meditating on what I read when I heard His voice speak to my heart.<br />
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"Do you see how many details there are and how I care about each one of them? Emily where is my temple now? But now you are the temple of My Spirit. And I care just as much about every detail of you."<br />
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2Co 6:16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people<br />
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1Pe 2:5 you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.<br />
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And for the priestly garments... God says<br />
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1Pe 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.<br />
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HE CARES. HE CARES. The God who holds all power of life and death cares about the details of His chosen people, His priesthood, a people for His possession. He cares about the things we don't think anybody cares about. God is a Redeemer and will redeem even the small details and desires of our heart. Walking with Jesus truly gets better each and every day. It doesn't get easier, but it is richer, fuller and more miraculous as we live each moment in the grace that He has freely poured out on us.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-4709860573169924202017-01-15T18:28:00.000-08:002017-01-15T18:28:18.886-08:00Heb 12. 18-24 {Mt. Zion}Heb 12:18-24 For you have not come to what may be touched, a blazing fire and darkness and gloom and a tempest and the sound of a trumpet and a voice whose words made the hearers beg that no further messages be spoken to them.<br />
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For they could not endure the order that was given, “If even a beast touches the mountain, it shall be stoned.” Indeed, so terrifying was the sight that Moses said, “I tremble with fear.”<br />
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But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering,and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel."<br />
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Recently I have stated reading the Bible chronologically for the first time. The Lord has abundantly blessed this and it has been so edifying to walk through chronologically. I've been reading in Exodus where God called Moses on Mount Sinai for 40 days and 40 nights. Yesterday I was reading all of the commandments and instructions for priesthood and the tabernacle. I turned page after page and continued reading detailed instructions and commandments. Somewhere in the midst of these I started feeling overwhelmed. I started doubting. Could the God who has a whole chapter in the Bible describing the priests' garments really care anything about me? Instead of drawing near to God, I drew near to my doubts and confusion.<br />
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I prayed a very simple prayer that sounded something like this "God, reading these Scriptures made me feel very distant and question things that I know that I know. Help."<br />
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I ended up running errands with Anna on her Moto and while we were driving the Spirit spoke to me "God is not distant and far off." And reminded me of the passage in Hebrews 12 that I love so dearly. The rest of the afternoon was busy but as I was walking out the door to church I opened my Bible to Hebrews 12 and the truths that it contained washed away any distance, doubt and confusion.<br />
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"But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering,and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect,<br />
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and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel."<br />
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The Lord freed me from those doubts and filled my heart with passion for His name and an extra measure of thanksgiving for Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant! As we entered into worship at church it was easy to see that the Lord was doing something extra special as hundreds of hearts poured out praise unto our Jesus. It was extra special for us as it was the guys team's last Sunday service in Cambodia. If I could capture or explain what God was doing as we worshiped I would, but I simply can't capture or explain it. It was a beautiful outpouring of His Spirit. As I worshiped I kept meditating on what God was showing me and the verses in Hebrews 12. When we started singing the last song of the night, the presence of God surrounded me so much so that I had to drop to my knees and just abide in His presence. I felt the hands of my leaders as they prayed over me but all I could do is rest in His presence. I was overwhelmed and couldn't even get the words out of my mouth to sing, all I could do was offer my heart and life as worship to Him. It was one of the sweetest most powerful moments with a beautiful and gracious God, who is not distant and far off, but loves me with the tenderness of a Father.<br />
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He is not afraid of our doubts or the hard questions. He is not afraid of the passages in scripture that confuse us or cause us to seek Him for direction and understanding. He is gracious, merciful and ever present. He is love. He is not tossed too and fro from emotion like I am. He is steadier than the mountains and more sure than the sun. He never fails and He never will.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-43991084100331806712017-01-14T00:19:00.002-08:002017-01-14T00:19:16.043-08:002 Tim 3.17<br />
2Ti 3:17 that the man (woman) of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.<br />
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Complete. Equipped for every good work. How does one get this way? Through God's Word.<br />
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2Ti 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,<br />
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All Scripture is profitable for the man or woman of God. All Scripture completes the man or woman of God and all Scripture equips the man or woman of God for every good work. It's amazing to me that it is only by His Word and His Spirit that we are equipped. It is not by our power, might, talent or planning. It is nothing we bring to the table, but it is His grace poured out on us through God's Word. No matter the work in front of us, we are equipped as we draw near to God and His Word. He alone has all wisdom for every good work and He alone can strengthen and encourage us as we press on to be faithful to what He has placed in our life.<br />
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2Co 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.<br />
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ALL SUFFICIENCY<br />
IN ALL THINGS<br />
AT ALL TIMES<br />
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May survive every good work? May endure every good work? No. grace changes things.<br />
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MAY ABOUND IN EVERY GOOD WORK. God doesn't want His people just scraping by in life. He wants them abounding, perfect and complete. As we surrender to His Spirit, accept His grace and live by His Word, He accomplishes this in our life.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-43219817948073577572017-01-10T21:37:00.001-08:002017-01-10T21:37:38.110-08:00Eph 1:3Eph 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places,<br />
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So often I live as if I am lacking. My heart often feels like i fall short. When I am living in defeat and looking to my ability to strengthen myself I will always lack.<br />
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This truth in Ephesians 1:3 is one that blows my mind and changes everything.<br />
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Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
Who has blessed us<br />
In Christ<br />
With EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING<br />
In the heavenly places<br />
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Every spiritual blessing. Who HAS blessed us. This blessing came with Jesus Christ. We don't have to work for this blessing or strive for it. It is already ours in Christ Jesus. My God raises the dead, and He has blessed me with every spiritual blessing. How do I access this blessing? Faith in Jesus. He wants only one thing, my faith. Do I have the faith to believe and live with the abundance of every spiritual blessing? God loves faith. Because of His promises in His Word, He can't deny his faithfulness. In the Bible, the only times we have record of Jesus marveling is at great faith, and at a lack of faith. We should take that very seriously. It amazes me that the God of the universe can marvel at my faith (or my lack of faith). Is Jesus going to marvel at my great faith, or my lack of faith?<br />
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My expectations, aim, pursuits get so small because I lose sight of the fact that my God is the God who raises the dead. I lose sight of the fact that I gain an inheritance when I simply believe. I lose sight that I have already been blessed with every spiritual blessing. Paul had the power of the resurrection flowing through his life. If we are only asking God for strength for what we need to do rather what we cannot do, our expectations are way to small, our pursuits are too small and our prayers are degraded. Am I living only in the realm of my strength, energy and resources? Or am I living in His abundant blessings? For I have them all in Jesus name. It's time to stand up, believe and walk in them.<br />
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"Rise up O woman of God, have done with lesser things. Give heart and soul and mind and strength to serve the King of kinds."<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-31180000447676786772017-01-03T20:16:00.000-08:002017-01-03T20:16:23.411-08:00Heb 11:16Heb 11:16 But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.<br />
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Yesterday I read a children's book to my preschoolers that God used to speak to my heart. The word "desire" had been on my heart all day and that morning I had started a collection of verses on desire. That same afternoon I grabbed a book called "The Rainbow Fish" to read to my kiddos. I faintly remembered my mom reading it to me as a child, but I couldn't remember the story very well. In class when I opened the book and started reading, I was immediately put off at the main character. The main fish, the most beautiful fish in the sea, was obsessed with his sparkling fins. He was the only one in the whole sea who had them and he was covered with them. They were his greatest delight and pride and joy. They were what he found his identity in. He believed that because he was beautiful, everyone would love him. But every interaction with other fish in the sea he was cold and arrogant and soon he lost all admiration around the other fish. Lonely and discouraged, he went to seek the council of an octopus (cue 20 preschoolers shouting "ohh no!" when we got to this point). The octopus told him that he needed to give away what was most precious to him. He needed to give his beautiful shiny fins to every fish who asked. He was horrified! How could he give HIS fins, HIS most prized possession? Right as he was going to argue with the octopus, the octopus vanished. As he swam away, a little fish swam up to him and asked for one of his fins, he thought about it for a minute and decided to give him one. As he gave one of his beautiful fins away, he noticed how happy it made him. The little fish swam away, delighted with his gift. The Rainbow Fish swam away feeling a peace that he hadn't felt before. Soon more and more fish came up asking for a fin and he couldn't turn them down. He gave and gave them away until he only had one left. The part of the book that most ministered to me was that it said that he had gone from hating the idea of giving them away to desiring to give them away.<br />
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What Rainbow Fish thought would bring him joy was being the most beautiful and powerful fish in the sea. But when he attained this, he was left empty and alone. His delight was found in himself and his desires and it lead to despair. When his desires shifted to others, he found real peace, love and fulfillment. Although this wasn't a Christian book, I can't help but see "Eternity in the hearts of man". I have a lot in common with the Rainbow Fish. The desires that I cling to and think will bring me satisfaction actually lead to selfish despair and helplessness. As I surrender what I believe is most precious to me, I find true delight and my true God given desires are exposed. I believe that one of the ways that Satan comes to "Steal, kill and destroy" is through our desires. If he can get our desires off of God and onto ourself, we are useless for building the Kingdom of God.<br />
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The enemy of our soul looks at us and this is his desire for our lives.<br />
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Exo 15:9 The enemy said, ‘I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil, my desire shall have its fill of them. I will draw my sword; my hand shall destroy them.’<br />
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But God is almighty and all perfect in power. With one breath He destroys the firey darts of the wicked.<br />
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Exo 15:10 You blew with your wind; the sea covered them; they sank like lead in the mighty waters.<br />
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Exo 15:13 “You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode.<br />
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As my desires come and go, I can trust in His steadfast love and faithfulness. All of my other desires melt away when I look at the cross and see my Jesus who died and resurrected for me and for the world.<br />
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Father replace my desires for myself and my glory with desires for You and your glory. May my desire not be for this world, but for a better country, a heavenly one, whose builder and maker is You.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-63789607343075726252016-12-13T18:22:00.002-08:002016-12-13T18:22:38.848-08:00Psalm 46:7<br />
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah”<br />
Psalms 46: 7<br />
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Back in the Spring, I wrote this in my Bible next to the first usage of the name of God 'Lord of hosts' . I had no idea what the Lord would do with it or how it would be a promise for what would come in the next year.<br />
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"He is my ever present Defender, who sees, loves and moves mountains on my behalf. He fights my battles, wins my wars and is the refuge I run to in times of need. There is nothing He cannot do, nothing He does not know, nothing He cannot control, no enemy He cannot defeat, no heart He cannot heal, no mouth He can't shut, no miracle He cannot perform. How beautiful to know that He longs to work on my behalf as my Lord of Hosts."<br />
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Before I came to IGNITE I strongly felt the Lord telling me that in this season, I was going to know Him as my Lord of hosts. I was very excited to hear from Him in such a specific way and rushed to study the meaning behind His name 'Lord of hosts'. As I started reading in Scripture, I was surprised and started questioning if I did in fact hear from the Lord. Lord of Hosts. His great power. Almighty, Sovereign, Self- Existent One, God over multitudes. I kept reading. War. Hardships. Battles. Waiting upon. Wait, Lord...this is not what I wanted.<br />
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יְהֹוָה<br />
yehôvâh<br />
yeh-ho-vaw'<br />
From H1961; (the) self Existent or eternal; Jehovah, Jewish national name of God: - Jehovah, the Lord.<br />
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צְבָאָה צָבָא<br />
tsâbâ' tsebâ'âh<br />
tsaw-baw', tseb-aw-aw'<br />
a mass of persons (or figurative things), especially regularly organized for war (an army); by implication a campaign, literally or figuratively (specifically hardship, worship): - appointed time, (+) army, (+) battle, company, host, service, soldiers, waiting upon, war (-fare).<br />
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These words were not the words I wanted to define the next season of my life.You see, I had just come out of a season of trial and was begging the Lord that He would bring me into a season of comfort and blessing. What I didn't know was that God would use the circumstances to give me His comfort and the trails He would use to open my eyes to His blessings. I wanted ease, but He wanted me to experience the rest of abiding in Him whilst war rages around me. Of course I wanted a God who would fight my battles, but at that moment, I would just rather have no battles to fight. Of course I want to worship a God who is self existent and can move mountains, but I didn't want to have a mountain that needed moving. My faint faithless heart yearned for earthly comfort and understanding of my own rather than to be left in the midst of battles and mountains.I was very wrong to think that I would be left in the midst of battles and troubles. I had forgotten that He never leaves us in the midst of battles and mountains. For not only does He fight my battles, He is in the midst of me.<br />
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“God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns."<br />
Psalms 46:5<br />
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The Lord of hosts. What a beautiful name and beautiful promise.<br />
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“Who is this King of glory? The Lord, strong and mighty, the Lord, mighty in battle!<br />
Who is this King of glory? The Lord of hosts, he is the King of glory! Selah”<br />
Psalms 24:8, 10 <br />
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Kay Arthur wrote "This name belongs to a certain stage in the experience of a child of God. It is God's name for mans extremity. Not until we, as God's chosen people, find ourselves failing and powerless do we find the need to run to our Jehovah-sabaoth (Lord of hosts). This is a name for those who, in the midst of struggle, find their resources inadequate. It is not a name for those who have ceased to fight. This is our name to run to when, from our perspective, there is no other help."<br />
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Fast forward from the Spring when God fist spoke me me about this and now. Up until this point I hadn't given it too much thought. I was still rejecting the thought of trials and battles, but as different circumstances came in my life, I found myself surrounded by battles and mountains that needed moving. Obstacles came on the scene and I couldn't see over them. Sorrows and situations that were completely out of my control seemed to surround me. Every day I have and continue to find perfect strength and power in Him. He is proving Himself to be my all powerful God who sees, loves and moves mountains on my behalf. He is fighting my battles, winning my wars and IS the refuge I run to in times of need. It is beautiful to KNOW that He longs to work on my behalf as MY Lord of hosts.<br />
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I came to Cambodia in October and was quickly introduced to the church that we partner with's worship album. I loved every one of their songs but one that especially ministered to was called 'Lord of Hosts". You think it would be because it reminded me of the promise that God had given me about this very thing, But no, it wasn't. I had listened and worshiped to the song probably over a 100 times and I never made the connection about what the Lord spoke to me months ago. All I knew was that my heart and soul was so drawn and connected with these words and truth. It wasn't until this last Monday that I was sitting on my bed, worshipping and praying to God about some hard news that I had heard from loved ones. I was processing and giving it over to the only One who can do anything about these situations. 'Lord of Hosts' came through my headphones and in an instant He unveiled my eyes and reminded me about the promise that He gave me, and how He is fulfilling every word. I was so overwhelmed at how personal and thoughtful He is. He surely doesn't leave us to fight our own battles and wage our own wars. He is the Lord of hosts and He is faithful for every word He speaks.<br />
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“If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.”<br />
II Timothy 2:13 <br />
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//God is our shield and strength. He is our fortress in times of trouble. So let the oceans roar, and let the mountains shake and tremble.<br />
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The Lord of Hosts is here. Our mighty King is now among us. We will never fear, when the Lord is near.<br />
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Know now that He is God, be still and see His hand now working. Nothing can stop His plans. He will be honored by every nation.<br />
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The Lord of Hosts is here. Our mighty King is now among us. We will never fear, when the Lord is near.<br />
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So be strong. Stand your ground. He is here. Now be brave, heart of faith, lose your fear. //<br />
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"Lord of Hosts" by Life Band<br />
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“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-57977116065756746072016-12-04T18:48:00.003-08:002016-12-04T18:48:57.577-08:00Genesis 13:5-9Gen 13:5 And Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents,<br />
Gen 13:6 so that the land could not support both of them dwelling together; for their possessions were so great that they could not dwell together,<br />
Gen 13:7 and there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock. At that time the Canaanites and the Perizzites were dwelling in the land.<br />
Gen 13:8 Then Abram said to Lot, “Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are kinsmen.<br />
Gen 13:9 Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right, or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left.”<br />
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True leadership is servanthood. God is showing me that leadership is not about having all the power or say in a situation, but it is about being the foot washer. Often we think that by gaining control, others will follow, but it is actually the opposite. True humility and service is what compels people to follow your lead and example. People follow actions more than words. A call of leadership is a call to walk in ultimate humility and exalt the true leadership of God.<br />
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Mat 23:12 Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.<br />
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God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. God really spoke to me through this story of Abram and Lot in Genesis 13. In this story, I see Abram walking in the same humility that our Lord Jesus did. Years before the Holy Spirit wrote Philippians, Abram walked in the truths that would be written for us.<br />
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Php 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.<br />
Php 2:4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.<br />
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In this story, I see Abram preferring Lot. I see him humbling himself for the sake of Lot and unity with Him. Abram could have done so many other things in this situation. But he choose the path of grace and the path of humility.<br />
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1. Abram could have manipulated Lot. Abram was a man who was clearly a natural leader and had a powerful voice. He could have manipulated Lot into doing what he wanted or picking the land Abram didn't want. But we don't see that here. We see Abram preferring Lot over himself.<br />
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2. He could have done nothing. Often when we do nothing we think we are doing everything. Often we think that we are keeping peace by keeping quiet, but Jesus wouldn't have said "Blessed are the peaceMAKERS if peace isn't something that has to be made." Abram could have walked in complacency and passivity, but we don't see that here. We see Abram being a peacemaker by fighting for unity.<br />
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3. He could have misused his authority, age and status. He could have told Lot which land he was choosing and cast him to the other. I see such a selflessness by allowing Lot the chance to choose. I am sure that Abram had a piece of land that he wanted to be on, but he surrendered that to God when he said to Lot "If you take the left land, then I will go to the right, or if you take the right land, then I will go to the left.” Abram could have controlled the situation and gotten exactly what he wanted and felt like he deserved. But we don't see that. We see Abram taking the form of a servant and surrendering the results into God's hands.<br />
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The lessons go on and on. The testimony of Abrams selflessness and leadership are still being used today to shape and mold people into the leaders that God desires. That is the power of testimony. Our lives will testify of something. What will my life testify of? What will your life testify of?<br />
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My prayer has been that every hardship, disappointment and trial will further mold me into the woman of God that He designed me to be. It has been that He will form and produce character in me through the circumstances that I can't see what He is doing in them. Nothing compares to the eternal weight of gory. Knowing Jesus is worth it all, and making His name known is the greatest and most beautiful calling.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-3476418216367656122016-11-28T21:32:00.002-08:002016-11-28T21:32:48.576-08:00Psalm 92:12-15“The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God.<br />
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They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.”<br />
Psalms 92:12-15 <br />
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God clearly spoke the word "Flourish" on my heart and confirmed it over and over through this passage in Psalm 92. The thing is flourishing isn't the word I would use to describe myself lately. Maybe "clinging" but not "flourishing". But what I'm realizing is that clinging to the Lord is flourishing in Him. He is teaching me that a flourishing tree is not exempt from seasons, but it learns to get the most out of every season. In Fall, the tree has to work harder at holding on and getting the nutrients to the branches and there are times that we are forced to HOLD onto God's promises with everything we have. Fall is a time where I can go deeper and anchor myself into the promises of God. In Fall, Winter is just around the corner and we must get anchored in the promises. He wants to use the Winter to produce the sweetest and hardiest fruit.<br />
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Spring is a time of abundance and a time of blossoms. Blossoms are a promise of fruit, In Summer, we can resent the heat or soak up the Sun(Son). Summer is a time for fruit to be harvested. God is showing me that He wants to make me flourish in every season of life because I am planted in grace. He is using every season to bring forth the best fruit. I have to look at each season in the context of the whole year and trust that God is producing something.<br />
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To flourish in Him, we must be intentional to continually draw from His grace. Trials are a time to learn a deeper shade of His grace, love and sufficiency. We must be intentional about setting our sights on heaven. To flourish in Christ, we MUST be intentional about claiming the promises of God. We must be intentional about giving all of our fears to Jesus. To flourish in His will, we must be faithful in obedience. We will never flourish if we are walking in disobedience.<br />
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In closing, flourishing in Christ isn't a work of my hands, but a work of His Spirit. He produces it in us as we continually draw near to Him and surrender it all into His faithful hands.<br />
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"I have heard that for the finest vineards an artful caretaker will, in crucial seasons, withhold water until the plant almost dies, forcing its roots to dig deeper. Not every vine is designed for this, but those precious ones receiving this master care, bear fruits of a different caliber." - Elisabet FountainUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-11362032741955840772016-11-28T21:27:00.002-08:002016-11-28T21:27:53.188-08:00Psalm 125:1“Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever.”<br />
Psalms 125:1 <br />
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Seasons change. That's the thing about seasons, they always change. While I believe that there are aspects and callings to our life in Christ that remain no matter the season, I recognize that certain seasons of our life are devoted to specific lessons that God wants to teach us.<br />
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In this season the Lord has been taking me into a deeper season of absolute trust in Him and His sovereignty. The other night I was watching the moon and it was shining so bright, in a matter of seconds it was completely covered by clouds. I said to Jasmine that it reminded me of the trials in our life and the dark times. Often it feels like our light is gone or that we have lost what we once had, but the truth is that it isn't lost at all, it just isn't visible from that angle. God's light and work in my life is His doing alone, I get no credit or glory for any of it. God is all powerful and His work doesn't fade as the day does, but it abides forever.<br />
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Do I trust in His perfect grace?<br />
Do I trust in His perfect plan for all of my days?<br />
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The answer that so often overwhelms me is no! But since we live in the power of His grace, if the answer is no all I can do is cast myself in His grace and let His truth transform my heart and mind. It's not about mustering up the trust, but confessing my great need before Him and allowing Him to fill my heart with trust. When Jesus did miracles, He didn't ask the person to heal them self. He normally asked them to take one step of faith, or they did so before He asked and He healed with His power. My paralyzed heart takes the step of faith that He sees as beautiful when I reach out with every ounce of strength I have to Him. I reach out, He fills. I look to Him, He changes my perspective. Looking and reaching out to Him is all He asks. "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you". That promise is for every second every day. It is for every need and every want. He fulfills it all. And for that I am eternally grateful. So for the days it seems like I have lost my passion and vision, I reach out to Him and He is faithful and just to once again, produce a miracle in my heart.<br />
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"Whenever your heart starts to be anxious about the future, preach to your heart and say, 'Heart, who do you think you are to be afraid of the future and nullify the promise of God? No, heart, I will not exalt myself with anxiety. I will humble myself in peace and joy as I trust this precious and great promise of God-He cares for me."<br />
-John Piper<br />
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When I am faced with an opportunity to trust in the Lord. I can either cling to myself, or cling to God. Fear kills faith, but a heart of faith is a heart of trust. Lately I have been hearing the Lord impress on my heart to ask! He loves to answer our prayers. He is asking us to ask. That is amazing to me. The Creator of the world, wants to be strong on our behalf. What a blessing! I have seen Him answer so many prayers in my life that it blows me away! Yet how quickly I forget his faithfulness. Yet even when I am faithless, he is faithful! May the Spirit lay things on our heart to pray. May He align our will with His and plant His desires and visions into our heart. In the moments and days where I feel faithless and void of trust, I come to His table and ask. He is so faithful to hear every cry of my heart and answer on behalf of His daughter.<br />
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“And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.”<br />
Isaiah 35:10 <br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-63841258236631671192016-11-04T21:04:00.001-07:002016-11-04T21:04:09.230-07:00Revelation 2:2-4'I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false.<br />
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I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name's sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.”<br />
Revelation 2:2-4 <br />
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Lately God has been calling my heart into deeper intimacy for Him. That is a call that last my lifetime, but often I sway from it and answer to other calls, even "good" calls. It's all about love. As cliche as that sounds, it is true. It's all about the rich and deep love of God. He's been showing me that it's not about being the best missionary or leader or servant, but it is about loving Jesus with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. It is about loving Jesus in every task and every job. It is about seeking His face and worshiping His greatness. It is about beholding His glory and surrendering everything to Him.<br />
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Works, toil and patient endurance are not the call. Bearing up for Christ's sake and the power to not grow weary are not the goal, they are not the prize. All of those qualities are fruit of a life surrendered to the Holy Spirit, but they are not the prize. Our prize, our goal and our first call is to love Jesus Christ supremely. Jesus has been reaching my heart and calling me to just love. He wants to reach the depths of my heart with His love. He wants the depths of my heart to rejoice and be set free with an abounding love for Him. His love brings freedom.<br />
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My call? To love Jesus fiercely with everything that I have and everything that I am. To love each and every person that is front of me with the passionate sacrificial love of Christ.<br />
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Lord be my desire, passion and strength. My desire when I have no desire for You, my passion when I have no passion for Your people and my strength when I have no strength to carry on with what you've laid in front of me.<br />
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Application: My heart is crying out for a deeper love for Christ. This is my application and prayer.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-13540129854708803382016-10-24T22:44:00.002-07:002016-10-24T22:44:32.410-07:002 Corinthians 1:3"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,”<br />
2 Corinthians 1:3<br />
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Every since going to the Killing Fields and S21 i have been struggling. Struggling with questions and lies from the enemy. Struggling with a deep desire for comfort and affirmation. My heart takes this desire and thinks that the desire is for home in Oklahoma. For home (I don't even like to call it that now because I know home is wherever He calls me) is where I receive comfort, love and affirmation from my family and church family. When I am removed from this things, it brings me desperate to the foot of the cross. God spoke the word desperate to me on the airplane coming here and I believe that He was speaking to me that His desire for me is to have a heart of desperation for Him. Many times throughout the day my heart is desperate for many things, but to have my hearts one cry for more of the Living God, that is desperation for Him.<br />
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I want to be here in Cambodia so badly and it is humbling that I am even dealing with this desire but I take great comfort in the fact that "He knows my frame and remembers that I am but dust". This "homesickness" isn't a burden or problem, but it is an opportunity for me to draw all of my comfort from Him. For He is the Father of mercies and God of all comfort. How else will I know know His true comfort if I am comfortable? There is a quote that I love, it says "You don't need the Comforter if you are comfortable."<br />
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It is really humbling to see how so many others lives were truly horrid and filled with pain and lost and I have been blessed with so much and yet my heart can still yearn for other things. But I know that this yearning isn't the problem, for God gives us desires. Where I look to fill this yearning is the important part. This yearning isn't for my mom or my friends at home. It isn't for personal liberties or affirmation from man, it is a yearning for Perfect love. A yearning for an everlasting love that comforts every infirmity and heals every wound. An everlasting love that reaches as high as the heavens and as far as the east is from the west.<br />
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“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.<br />
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The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.<br />
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For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;<br />
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As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.”<br />
Psalms 103:2-5, 8, 11, 13-14 <br />
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His healing hands are reached out to me. He rejoices over me and dances with loud singing. His sees everything about me and He truly loves everything about me. He loves the deepest insecurities and weaknesses that I try to hide. He sees, He knows and He loves.<br />
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I am not alone, I am not alone. You will go before me, you will never leave me. In the midst of deep sorrow, I see your light breaking through. The dark of night will not overtake me, I am pressing into You. Lord You fight my every battle and I will not fear.<br />
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Application: every time today that I have a yearning for affirmation, love and comfort, I will take that desire to Jesus who can perfectly fill it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-49222425510973404232016-10-24T22:43:00.002-07:002016-10-24T22:43:40.256-07:00We Would See Jesus Pt 1Note: This blog post is experts from a book I am reading and is not my own writing. I started reading "We Would See Jesus" by Roy Hession and it ministered to me so much I wanted to share these beautiful truths with you all.<br />
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Love,<br />
Emily<br />
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We Would See Jesus<br />
By Roy Hession<br />
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"Sir, we would see Jesus" John 12.21<br />
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The Lord Jesus has come to take us from every yoke of bondage and set us free to serve Him in freshness and spontaneity of the Spirit, and all this by the simple sight of Him which the Holy Spirit gives to the eye of faith. <br />
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There is no limit to what God will do for the poor who look to Him in their nothingness.<br />
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My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace, Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God.<br />
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“"And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul,”<br />
Deuteronomy 10:12 <br />
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“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”<br />
Micah 6:8 <br />
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Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever. Instead of stressing holiness in order to SEE God, the emphasis is on service FOR God. We have come to think of the Christian life as consisting of serving God as fully and efficiently as we can. Techniques and methods by which we hope to make God's message known, have become the important thing. To carry out this service we need power, and so instead of a longing for God our longing is for power to serve Him more effectively.<br />
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Man was brought into being to be the delight of God and the object of His affection. Man knew that he had been created to delight in God and his only concern was to respond to the divine affection, to live for Him and do His will.<br />
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To create, God had but to speak, and it was done. But to redeem, He had to bleed. And He did so in the Person of His Son, Jesus Christ, whom He sent to take the place of death upon the cross which our sin had so richly deserved.<br />
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My goals of service and activity for God fall from the great goal that God purposes for me. To concentrate on service and activity for God may often actively thwart our attaining the true goal, God Himself. At first sight it seems heroic to fling our lives away in the service of God and of our fellows. Service seems so unselfish, whereas concentrating on our walk with God seems selfish and self centered. But it is the very reverse. The things that God is more concerned about are our coldness of heart towards Him and our proud, unbroken natures.<br />
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We direly need to leave our lusting for ever larger spheres of christian service and concentrate on seeing God for ourselves and finding the deep answer for life in Him. This does not mean that God does not want us engaged actively in his service. He does; but His purpose is often far different from what we think.<br />
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Only God Himself can fill that blank which is made in His shape. As soon as the emphasis is changed from "doing" to "being", there is an easing of tension. If fellowship with God is our first concern, then we can have fellowship with Him in the kitchen, in sickness, in any kind of trying and difficult situation. Whatever lies across our path to be done, even the most irksome chore, is there to be done for God and for His glory. Gone will be the former striving, bondage and frustration. We shall be at peace with our God and ourselves.<br />
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Taken from Chapter 1 of 'We Would See Jesus' by Roy Hession.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-62548179546849925082016-10-20T00:35:00.003-07:002016-10-20T00:35:43.891-07:00Phil 3.12-13“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,”<br />
Philippians 3:12-13 <br />
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Not that I have already obtained or made perfect.<br />
This verse is such a comfort to me. I am just, yet a sinner. I am justified yet in the process of sanctification. Sanctification can seem like a death sentence sometimes, but that is because my eyes on are myself. Sanctification brings life and peace because it strips me of my flesh and conforms me into His image. In the day to day journey of sanctification, we get easily get discouraged of the abundance of sin in our life. But this truth that we are on this journey and will not taste true perfection until we are before Him in glory. That is what I'm holding onto.<br />
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Justified, yet still a sinner. Made perfect in His blood, stamped and sealed with His Spirit until the day we are perfectly justified, sanctified and glorified in His presence.<br />
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But I press on.<br />
In the weariness, in the mundane. I press on. In the delight and in the joy, I press on.<br />
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Jesus Christ has made me His own.<br />
My identity is solely Jesus. He has made me His own. I have no need to struggle and strive for affirmation and worth when He has knit and made me His own. I am royal family of King Jesus. An heir to all of His promises. For all eternity.<br />
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I do not consider that I have made it my own.<br />
Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to the cross I cling. Nothing that I have been given us my own doing. My righteousness is like filthy rags but His righteousness that covers me is perfect and beautiful.<br />
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Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.<br />
On this race that I'm running, I cannot look behind at the good things or the bad. If I try to strive to see behind me at one of my favorite miles, I will be focused on the past and not the mile at hand. If i can't focus on the mile at hand because I am thinking about my worst mile, I will produce another just as bad or even worse. That is why God calls us to PRESS FORWARD for the race at hand.<br />
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Application: Today as I face conviction form the Holy Spirit I will take a moment to thank God for His sanctifying work in my heart.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-76370970108179949462016-10-20T00:01:00.002-07:002016-10-20T00:01:37.429-07:00Phil 3.8“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ”<br />
Philippians 3:8 <br />
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Nothing is wasted in God's creation. Even the things that are counted as loss are used for His glory and praise.<br />
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“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”<br />
Romans 8:28<br />
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This verse makes me ask my heart "What is my surpassing worth?". Jesus is worth it all. He is worth everything. Anything that He calls us to and asks us to surrender to Him pales in comparison to walking in obedience and unity with Him. In the moment, surrender seems the most difficult calling. Surrender of personal wants, desires, dreams, possessions, family is God's call on our life. It's not that He wants His children to be miserable, it's that He wants us to surrender everything into His hands so that He can use it for His purposes.<br />
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In this walk of obedience, Jesus will call each and everyone of us to surrender different things to Him. Ultimately He calls us to complete surrender but I'm finding that He does so each and every day. Everyday I wake up to Him calling me deeper into surrender and everyday He gives me different things to surrender into His hands. But they are counted as loss compared to the height, width and depth of God's love. In our surrender, we gain Christ. He is surpassing worth of all we could ever ask or imagine.<br />
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Application: As I deal with missing my friends and family back in Oklahoma, each time they come to mind today I will pray for them.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-58824943755930118742016-10-19T02:54:00.003-07:002016-10-19T23:35:37.797-07:001 Timothy 4.81 Timothy 4.8<br />
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"For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come".<br />
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We have been given two roads to choose from. A wide path and a narrow path. A path of some value or a path of value in every way. We choose between a life that pursues some value and reaps some fruit on the earth or a life that is devoured to His value in every way and reaps fruit on earth and fruit eternally.<br />
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I have spent many years running on the path of some value. I devoted everything to. Vain pursuit and it reaped...some value. But that "some value" that I did reap, it blew away in the wind. As soon as I grasped it, it was already gone. It went away with the sunset and was buried in the grave. What is to show for the hours of time spent training for some value? Nothing.<br />
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But there is a better way, a way that we were created for. We were created to train, to fight, to push and to go. God created us with a drive, and when we surrender it to Him, He produces value in every way. We've been given an eternal mission to run with endurance for and may we run with every ounce of strength we have. I love the quote "I want to get to heaven breathless". It portrays a life that is radically devoted to training for godliness. I can get to heaven breathless from chasing the world, or chasing God's mission.<br />
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<b>My decision is made, I've chosen His mission, and it's time to run. </b><br />
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Application: Today I am praying that I run today in such a way that if I was face to face with God today, that I would be breathless from a day spent running with endurance for His mission. If this is my prayer and heart each day, my life will be a life lived breathlessly for the sake of the Gospel.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-9687456578625434392016-10-19T02:40:00.000-07:002016-10-19T23:35:20.061-07:002 Cor 13.112 Corinthians 13.11<br />
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"Finally brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration. Comfort one another, agree with one mother, live in peace and the god of love and peace will be with you."<br />
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The way we treat our brothers and sisters is essentially the way we treat God. f I truly believed this with all my heart, it would surely change my actions and attitude towards my brothers and sisters in Christ. This truth changes everything. It changes every action, decision and word spoken.<br />
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No matter how I am treated by a man or woman, the way I respond changes the whole situation. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”<br />
Proverbs 15:1 I can repay evil for evil or I can respond to them unto the Lord.<br />
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Through the fall of man, the purity of life has been corrupted. People are viewed as a burden and object instead of a child of God and blessing from Him. People are not just people, they are God's beloved creation, image bearers of the One True God. This truth brings great influence and opportunity for each relationship that God puts in our life. Whether it is a quick interaction with someone at the store, or a deep relationship with someone, each interaction with a person has eternal impact.<br />
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Jesus essentially told us that how we treat others is how we treat Him.<br />
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“Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?<br />
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And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'”<br />
Matthew 25:37-38, 40 <br />
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This truth brings great hope and joy into my heart! God tells us to rejoice in this beautiful truth and live on it. What does that look like? It looks like aiming for restoration. Comforting one another. Agreeing with one another. Living in peace with one another. In Jesus name. The promises that will come are closeness of God who is THE GOD of love and peace. Amen.<br />
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Application: Today I am praying that Team Cambodia girls will walk out this truth today, for the rest of training, in Cambodia and for the rest of our life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106527209348817496.post-66301233452667409512016-10-19T02:27:00.001-07:002016-10-19T23:34:55.215-07:00Pro 9.9Proverbs 9.9<br />
Give instruction to a wise man and he will still be wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.<br />
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How I respond to instruction reveals a lot about my heart. A humble person can learn from anybody. I have often found myself in situations where i shut my heart off from receiving from somebody because I don't like them or what they believe. I have seen this displayed a lot in my life through Bible teachings. Honestly if I don't like a teacher or the way he or she teaches, i decide in my heart unconsciously that i won't learn anything from their teachings. This is foolishness and selfish pride. This is placing value in the teacher rather than the Holy Spirit who is our Teacher. When I know that it is the Holy Spirit who is our True Teacher, I have an open and hungry heart to learn from Him.<br />
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God's heart for us is have a humble and lowly spirit, to have a heart that values others over ourself. When we choose who we will learn form we limit God's work in our heart. This verse and many others throughout the whole Bible convict me of my heart of pride and call me deeper into a state of hunger to learn and grow from God and the people He places in my life. <br />
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Application: Today I am especially praying for my 10 days at home and that God will give me a humble heart that is eager to learn and gain wisdom from other while I am home.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0